Its been a couple of years now since i played the keyboard, in the culture of my upbringing, i have always been educated to think that in order for me to be good at a something, i need schooled and get the appropriate paper qualifications and experience. Because of this, even though i have been playing for worship, i have downplayed what others say. Confronted with affirmations, i can only nod politely and thank God. Deep in my heart, i felt i needed to seek that hard-to-attain grade 8. Deep in my heart, in my sub-consious mind, i am still not good enough. Seeking technical perfection like so many years ago when i learned the organ. But the more i play the more i feel this special gift is given simply as that, a gift, no bargains, no strings attached. I may not play as well as i wish i should, but it is also a process for me to learn to accept limitations and serve even in these limits. I have also come to understand a little bit more of how God works, how and why He gives what he gifts. Together with this, He gives me the courage not to be ashamed of my limitations, this enabled me to build a 'thicker-skin', to be a fool for Him.
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