Counting the blessings of 2006

Being
As I look back at this year, the many ministries and humanitarian work we are involved in, the many opportunities to witness how God is working among the poorest of the poor here, I can describe it best with the image of a Bonsai plant.

Twisted
Bonsais, in their early stages are constantly molded. Wires twist and turn its branches, encouraging them to move into the desired direction and shape. My sisters and brothers in community, together with my leaders are the wires. Whether it is systematic teachings received, study, or close interaction with each other, each member forms an important part in gently helping me to grow into the whole person whom God is continually making me to be. In the work we do, there are ample opportunities to learn and grow, difference in working styles, perspective and perceptions of situations, diversity in culture, all help me become more aware of my reactions, preconceived ideas, idiosyncrasies, my need for more acceptance of the uniqueness of the other, acknowledging my own poverty, and allowing both my seniors and juniors to be part of this growth. Not only journeying with others, but also desiring personal transformation daily.

Roots deepen
This year also taught me that though I have great role models and leaders, and there’s so much to learn from them, I need only be me in all I do. Only I can love the way I love, I can only do the way I can, I cannot try to be another person or emulate their styles. And I should not look at the other’s richness and deem myself poor. I don’t need to strive to perfection, I don’t need to be big, great or popular. I don’t need to be better than the rest. The only thing I need to do is be as good as I can be at this moment, and not constantly evaluating how I can do something better the next time. I just need to be me. And in this new acceptance, I am then more compassionate towards others.

Grow now!
The bonsai branches take years to be moved. Lord I need patience and I need it now! Hehehe In my own impatience, I sometimes ask God why certain things have not happened yet, why I haven’t made much progress in growing in a certain area, what’s in my future. This year I realize more fully that the only way I can be fully living is when I live in the ‘now’. And that is an important part of honouring the presence of the other, acknowledging the diginity of the people we serve.

Size matters
Bonsais are pruned and molded to look like little ‘big’ trees. During my personal retreat, I realize that I have been striving all my life to be more intelligent, more witty, more popular etc, to be ‘the best that I can be’. This was my blind spot. Truth is; at any given moment, I am already enough. I am loved by Father God as I am today. I don’t have to be better to be more lovable, I don’t have to inflate myself, I am enough. Let me be small. Let my smallness be joyful, let my joy be gratefulness, let all that I am be simple. And in my smallness stand tall and with dignity. This important truth is also something I’m trying to inculcate into the youths I work with. We are priceless, precious and wonderful.

Friends! THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUOUS SUPPORT
If not for your love & support, whether through finances, prayer, equipment, or emotional support & love, I would not be able to do what I do now. In being empowered by God, I can now empower the people I work with even more. You have been as much a part of the mission as I am on the field. Know that you are in my prayers. God Bless you. Till we meet again.